Thank you so much to everyone who has shared something, and I hope others will also send me their thoughts and experiences!
Here is a segment of one woman's contribution. She describes what many seem to experience: that having an Eating Disorder is like having a second person or personality sharing your body and mind. Well, sharing is perhaps too generous - it's more like the ED usurps your body and mind, seizing the controls, and trying to edge you out, until you're like a shell of your former self.
I never thought about my Anorexia as male but also not so much as "another" female. It was more like her taking over me, like a program on a computer would run it and take over its functions.
I wouldn't really call her anything because she was me and I was her to the biggest part. I would therefore describe my relationship with her like living with two personalities, only that one of the personalities was so strong that it left no room for the other.
Search for the second personality in you. Search for the person you used to be. Remembering the dreams and aspirations for life that I used to have, helped me a great deal to keep going during recovery.
The good news is, as this writer reminds us, that you're still in there, even when the ED is dominating your mind. Recovery hinges on recognizing your real self in there, and beginning to resist the ED's controls - perhaps, to use her metaphor of ED as computer virus, to get some anti-virus software for the mind. Do you feel like you're sharing your mind and body with an ED? If you've felt that way in the past, how did the real you edge the ED out of the driver's seat?
